The Difference Between Fellowship and Relationship.

Dean Gotcher

"For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matthew 12:50

"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 1 John 2:16

"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven." Matthew 7:21

Fellowship is based upon doing right and not wrong according to established commands, rules, facts, and truth, i.e., according to the Father's authorityhumbling, denying, dying to "self," "picking up your cross," i.e., enduring the rejection of men, following the Son of God, Jesus Christ, doing the Father's will—preaching commands and rules to be obeyed, teaching facts and truth to be accepted as is, by faith, discussing any questions you might have regarding commands, rules, facts, and truth, at the one in authorities discretion (providing there is time, you can understand, and are not questioning, challenging, defying, disregarding, attacking authority), blessing those who obey and do things right, chastening those who disobey and/or do things wrong, and casting out any who question, challenge, defy, disregard, attack authority—which engenders a guilty conscience in you for doing wrong, disobeying, sinning. Fellowship is a byproduct of believers who no longer "sin willfully" (after receiving "the knowledge of the truth"), who coming together "profess" their "faith," "provoke" one another "unto love and to good works," and "exhort one another," knowing the Lord who said "Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense," judging "his people" first, punishing those who have "trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace." Fellowship is at first personal. It begins with you fellowshipping "with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ" or it is not fellowship at all, it is you, a "worker of iniquity," 'justifying' your "self," i.e., your carnal nature before men, "building relationship" with those of the world only, with you doing "'wonderful things' in the name of the Lord" without knowing him, or rather him knowing you. If "self" is not out of the way, then "self," which includes your desire ("lust") for the approval of men (fear of rejection by men), rules the day and fellowship is not fellowship but only you, "building of relationship with others, based upon your and their common self interests," living in vanity, i.e., "What can I get out of this relationship for me?" Relationship requires compromise. Fellowship requires no compromise.

"Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised;) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins, But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries. He that despised Moses' law died without mercy under two or three witnesses: Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be thought worthy, who hath trodden under foot the Son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, wherewith he was sanctified, an unholy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace? For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people." Hebrews 10:23-30

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Matthew 18:20

"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Mathew 18:2-4 (emphasis added)

"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" 2 Corinthians 10:5

"And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23
"Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:" "Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them." Ephesians 2:2; 5:6, 7

"Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things' sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them." Colossians 3:5-7

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:14-18

When the fellowship (minister) moves from the preaching, teaching, and discussing of the Word of God, starting and ending with the Word of God, making all that is said and done accountable to it, to men dialoguing their opinion of it instead, then the "fellowship" is actually the "building of relationship" based upon the carnal nature, i.e., "self interest" of man. There is no Father's authority in dialogue, only the opinion, i.e., canal desire, i.e., "self" 'justification' of man. Psychology in the "fellowship" has made it apostate—making the Word of God subject to the "feelings," i.e., to carnal desires, i.e., opinions of men.

"Freud takes with absolute seriousness the proposition of Jesus: 'Except ye become as little children, ye can in no wise enter the kingdom of heaven.'" "In the words of Thoreau: 'We need pray for no higher heaven than the pure senses can furnish, a purely sensuous life. Our present senses are but rudiments of what they are destined to become [once they are 'liberated' from the father's/Father's authority].'" (Norman O. Brown,, Life Against Death: The Psychoanalytical Meaning of History)

"To experience Freud is to partake a second time of the forbidden fruit;" "The entry into Freud cannot avoid being a plunge into a strange world and a strange language—a world of sick men, ....It is a shattering experience for anyone seriously committed to the Western traditions of morality and rationality [faith in God] to take a steadfast, unflinching look at what Freud has to say." (Norman O. Brown, Life Against Death: The Psychoanalytical Meaning of History)

"The 'original sin' must be committed again: 'We must again eat from the tree of knowledge in order to fall back into the state of innocence.'" (Herbart Marcuse, Eros and Civilization: A philosophical inquiry into Freud)

"For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world." 1 John 2:16 "Lust of the flesh," "lust of the eyes," and "pride of life" is all the child knows before the father's/Father's first command, rule, fact, and truth comes into his life, requiring the child to humble, deny, die to, control, discipline his "self" in order to do the father's/Father's will. If we begin with the child, making the child the focus of attention, the child's carnal nature becomes the standard for right and wrong, i.e., good and evil—making pleasure the standard for right or good and pain (which includes the pain of missing out on pleasure) the standard for wrong or evil. In this way the father's/Father's authority is negated, negating "lust" as an issue.

"The child, contrary to appearance, is the absolute, the rationality of the relationship; he is what is enduring and everlasting, the totality which produces itself once again as such [once he is 'liberated' from the father's/Father's authority so that he can be his "self," i.e., as he was before the father's/Father's first command, rule, fact, or truth came into his life, i.e., carnal, i.e., of the world only]." (Georg Hegel, System of Ethical Life)

"Building relationship" with others is based upon "feelings," i.e., your desire to enjoy ("lust" after) the carnal pleasures of the 'moment' (dopamine emancipation), i.e., your "self interest" which the world stimulates, 'justifying the child's carnal nature in you—your desire to approach/augment pleasure, including the pleasure which comes with affirmation (of your "self," i.e., of your desire to enjoy the carnal pleasures of the 'moment' which the world stimulates) as well as your desire to avoid/attenuate pain, which includes the pain which comes with missing out on pleasure, especially the pain which comes with being rejected by others, i.e., not being affirmed by those you want relationship with, i.e., who you want to 'justify' your "self" before. Relationship therefore depends upon dialogue (compromise, i.e., suspending, as upon a cross any command, rule, fact, or truth that gets in the way of dialogue, i.e., that gets in the way of "building relationship"). It is in dialogue you reveal your "self interest"—attempting to 'justify' your "self" before others. Once you hear "I think" or "I feel" in regard to the Word of God, making it (and the fellowship) subject to the opinions of men (no longer weighing the Word of God with the Word of God, making man subject to it), you no longer have a fellowship of believers but a "building of relationship upon the self interest" of men, with man 'justifying' his "self" before man.

"And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God." Luke 16:15

"In the dialogic relation of recognizing oneself in the other, they experience the common ground of their existence." (Jürgen Habermas, Knowledge & Human Interest, Chapter Three: The Idea of the Theory of Knowledge as Social Theory)

"Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." James 4:4

"Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD." " Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is." Jeremiah 17:5, 7

"For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Psychologists, i.e., group psychotherapists, i.e., facilitators of 'change', i.e., Transformational Marxists use the method or formula of dialoguing opinions ("feelings") to a consensus in the group grade," "safe zone/space/place," "Don't be negative," "Be positive," soviet style, brainwashing ("Bloom's Taxonomy"), affective domain classroom in order to seduce, deceive, and manipulate whoever comes before them (turning them into chickens, rats, and dogs) so they can use them as "natural resource" ("human resource") for their own pleasure and gain—thereby negating the father's/Father's authority and the guilty conscience for doing wrong, disobeying, sinning (called "the negation of negation")—doing what Immanuel Kant, Georg Hegel, Karl Marx, and Sigmund Freud had in mind—putting into praxis Genesis 3:1-6, i.e., "self " 'justification," i.e., dialectic 'reasoning' (reasoning from/through "feelings," i.e., from/through dialogue), negating Hebrews 12:5-11, i.e., the father's/Father's authority, thereby negating Romans 7:14-25, the guilty conscience for doing wrong, disobeying, sinning in the process (replacing it with the so called "super-ego," which is subject to the child's carnal nature), so they can do wrong, disobey, sin with impunity (which is the real agenda).

Even those writing homeschooling material, setting up homeschool conferences, and developing co-ops are using and promoting the dialectic process, i.e., the "building of relationship upon common self interest" in order get people to work together on a common cause (suspend as  upon a cross established commands, rules, facts, and truth that get in the way of dialogue—in order to "build relationship" upon their carnal desires, i.e., their common "self interests").

 "Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven. But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me:" Matthew 10:32-37

"For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not." "O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord."  Romans 7:18, 24, 25

" Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James 1:17

"And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven."  Matthew 23:9

"For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother." Matthew 12:50

"And truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with his Son Jesus Christ." 1 John 3:1

"And for this cause [because men, as "children of disobedience," 'justify' themselves, i.e., 'justify' their love of "self" and the world, i.e., 'justify' their love of the carnal pleasures of the 'moment,' which the world stimulates over and therefore against the Father's authority, i.e., doing the Father's will] God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie [that pleasure (including the affirmation of men, i.e., "building relationship with men based upon common self interest') is the standard for "good" instead of doing the Father's will]: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth [in the Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ], but had pleasure in unrighteousness [in their "self" and the pleasures of the 'moment,' which the world (including relationship with others, i.e., affirmation) stimulates]." 2 Thessalonians 2:11, 12

© Institution for Authority Research, Dean Gotcher 2019